he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
