Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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