just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
