last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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