im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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