There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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