hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
