Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
