Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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