Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
