My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
