i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
