hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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