video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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