you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
