i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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