u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
