After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
