whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
