All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
