How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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