Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
