Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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