Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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