Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
