Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
