No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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