Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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