Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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