You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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