Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
