Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
