Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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