we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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