Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
