Grow some girl-balls and come out already
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
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