'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
