I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
