I can tuck mytits in my pants
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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