break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
