Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
