i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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