Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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