His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
