at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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