If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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