the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
