The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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