He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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