your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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