Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You ate ashes out of my bong
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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